I was having a weird-ass dream right before I woke up this morning.

In the dream I was an older kid in a family. Brad Pitt was my older brother home from college. There were a few miscellaneous children around, including my real-life sister and a toddler … and oddly a friend, Marc. My parents were gone so the elder two of us were in charge of watching the younger kids.

Some chick comes over to the house for something tech-supporty. Fixing our cable or internet or some such thing, I can’t remember. Well, Brad Pitt gets the hots for her and she ends up staying the night. I was pissed because I had to watch the kids by myself, but least she cooked us dinner.

Well, at some point I grow to really distrust this woman, so when it comes time for her to leave I get all paranoid that she’s going to steal something. I make sure the valuables are still there and go around locking windows and doors.

I forgot to mention that we were at our vacation home on some nameless lake. Our property consisted of a large house and also a guest house.

So anyway, I go around locking everything up and finally this woman leaves. I lock the door behind her and we all stand at the (glass) door to watch her walk away.

Halfway down the walkway she turns around… and she has a gun in her hand. She shoots everyone in the head except for me (I was near the back and I got away in time).

So I’m freaking out that everyone is dead… crying, etc. I almost don’t notice it when all the kids (and Brad Pitt) stand back up and start walking towards me.

Apparently this woman put something in our dinner last night to make them into zombies. That was her whole mission… start a zombie uprising.

So I make it to the attic — it’s one of those old-school ones where the stairs unfold from the ceiling. I get up there and am trying to pull the stairs back up, but all the zombies are hanging onto the bottom of the stairs and I can’t pull it up.

Finally, somehow, I get the stairs pulled up, but now need to figure out how to reinforce the trap door so nobody can pull it back down. Plus … what am I going to do about food? Water?

I had my cell phone with me so I call my friend next door, and try to warn her about the zombies. She doesn’t believe me, of course.

Well, Brad Pitt is now making his way over to her place and since she has a crush on him (natch) she allows him to get closer… until it’s too late.

Then I wake up.